Innapropriate (Warning: Contains Very Raunchy Subject Matter)

So the conversation about innapropriate crushes came up a few months ago between a group of friends one night and we all explored our insatiable lust for WIERD people. Since then I've found out from several other friends that odd and unlikely crushes are everywhere. Here are a few of my very innapropriate crushes.


Steve Buscemi


So ever since I saw the movie Ghost World (which was a very defining movie and comic book in my youth) I've pretty much had a crush on the nerdiest, most absurd men (and sometimes women). His character, Seymour, a recluse oddball record collector really hit a chord with me. Steve Buscemi is and will always be the quintessential nerdy actor in my heart.

John C. Reilly

I'm not really sure how to justify even this one as an innapropriate crush. But for some gosh darn reason I am completely in lust with John C Reilly. Maybe it was seeing him shirtless in StepBrothers. Maybe it was him as Dr. Steve Brule (even though I'm not a fan of the Steve And Eric Show). All I know is that my crush on him is very innapropriate.

Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman)

I love the show Parks and Recreation. And my favorite part of the show is Nick Offerman's character Ron Swanson. Between the mustache, insatiable hunger for breakfast foods, love of strong women, and chair canning abilities who could ask for more?

Alan Moore

So in case you didn't know, I LOVE comic books. And apparently I love old, crazy, dirty-looking hippy men. In case you weren't convinced by the picture, watch the documentary about him, The Mindscape of Alan Moore, and try to tell me you wouldn't ride that beard silly until dawn.

Robert Smith

I know I have a few friends who agree with me here. Robert Smith could be 100 years old, in a wheelchair, hairless, with a missing testicle and I would still -tap- that. In a heart beat. Robert Smith was such a huge part of my youth and every song from every album has a special place in my life somewhere.

Geoffrey Rush

Dirty. Check. Old man. Check. In historical dress. Check. Watch the movie Quills. See Geoffrey Rush's bare man booty and penis. You'll never be able to watch him in Pirates of the Carribean and not grin.