So this is a little blog-poem hybrid monster thats kind of been growing in my head for a while and I finally decided to put it down on the imaginary internet paper notebook that seems to be my blog.
I'm not very sorry that I'm not very pretty and I'm not very sorry that I have too much to say. I'm not very sorry that I don't go to church and I'm not very sorry that I've read the Bible more than most people who do. I'm not very sorry that I'm a bit of a hypocrite and a procrastinator and I'm not very sorry that both seem to fuel each other. I'm not very sorry that I resent wearing make-up and I'm not very sorry that deep down inside I love it. I'm not very sorry that I don't see most issues as black and white and that I exist (or perhaps am drowning) somewhere in the grey murky waters in between. I'm not very sorry that I hate flip-flops. Full stop. I'm not very sorry that I say the word CUNT a little bit too much, even by my crazy extreme feminist standards. I'm not very sorry that when I was a teenager I read too much Nietzsche and Ayn Rand and Dostoevsky than any normal teenager should have read. I'm not very sorry that I'm not very good at art and that I think art just for art's sake is all right. And I'm not very sorry that I'm a little bit pretentious and that saying that makes me sound extremely pretentious. I'm not very sorry that I don't shave my legs or armpits very often and I'm not very sorry about the implications that gives regarding what else I don't shave very often either. I'm not very sorry that I'm human and I'm not very sorry that I think we should all stop pretending that we're not. I'm not very sorry that I'm in love with music and I'm not very sorry that I'm only a little bit sorry about never learning how to play music. I'm not very sorry that for some reason I feel so connected to humanity but at the same time I feel very disconnected. I'm not very sorry that I sometimes think I'm an alien and that so are you. I'm not very sorry that I love clothes a little bit too much for someone who is even on the best of days a firm believer in an almost nihilistic approach to an anarcho-libertarian utopia hybrid world. I'm not very sorry that I hate doctors and I'm not very sorry that I have a disease that forces me to interact with them on a regular basis. I'm not very sorry that I believe that in order to know anything you must question and maybe even destroy everything you think you know. And I'm not very sorry that I think therefore I am (atleast I think I do) and I'm not very sorry that I hate Descartes. I'm not very sorry that I have too much time on my hands but I don't get done with nearly as much as I want to. I'm not very sorry that I have the same problems as most people and I'm not very sorry that I don't complain about them as much as other people do. And I'm not very sorry that when I started to type this that I had something completely different in mind and that it grew completely out of my control.
No comments:
Post a Comment